An Approximate Chronology of Harry and Pippa’s Storybook Romance

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Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton observe the commoners at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton in 2011.

According to various news sources, Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton are dating. The two really need no introduction: Harry is one of the Princes of Wales, the former black sheep party boy to his once golden boy of a brother, Prince William, and Pippa is the sister who dared to rock a white dress on her sister Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton’s wedding day. These two rebels of high society are reported to be couple of crazy kids in love, for the past few months, or even the past few years.

This piece of royal news, along with all its supporting evidence, is really the best news for shippers everywhere, as this romance pretty much fits into every rom-com trope that a teenage girl with a Tumblr blog could ever really want.

Harry and Pippa have apparently been flirting since they first met. I suppose we should get the chronology sorted out. We can probably assume that they first met some time during the early to mid-2000s, when William and Kate first met and started dating.

Enter 2011. We can further assume that their flirtation escalated when Kate discovered Harry and Pippa snogging (because they’re British) in the bathroom at her wedding. Where were the bodyguards? Were there bodyguards everywhere, that no one could tell who the bodyguards belonged to? Was it a secret bathroom that only a few close members to the royal family had access to? The media should demand exact location of the bathroom, for the sake of journalistic integrity. Because to be honest, it was probably a nice bathroom.

So many questions, but sure–Harry and Pippa were snogging in the bathroom at the royal wedding reception, and Kate probably had a good laugh about it with Will afterward. I believe it.

Enter some time in 2012. Harry invited Pippa over for a nice pasta carbonara, wine, and vinyl pop music on his vintage record player. They ate, watched a movie, and cuddled on the living room couch until they both fell asleep, according to absolutely no sources, but my own imagination and the influence of Tumblr gifsets with the tag #all the feels.

Perhaps Harry and Pippa had a good time, but decided they were both busy and wanted different things. Dated around, partied around. Then one day, they probably saw each other across the room at some fancy party with other wealthy and/or royal people–

Both Harry and Pippa probably realized over caviar and Chateau Margaux 1929: You can’t escape fate. As a rich and famous and royal person, you will inevitably run into ghosts of your rich and famous and royal past. True love will catch up to you, no matter how much people you see, how much partying you do.

Enter somewhere in 2014. Will witnessed Harry and Pippa’s romance with his very own eyes. But maybe Will found his encounter with Harry and Pippa less funny than Kate’s experience, as sources say that Will found Harry and Pippa in bed at Harry’s apartment. Does Will have keys to Harry’s apartment? And he was able to walk right in? Harry’s apartment didn’t have bodyguards that could have stopped Will? Really, royal security needs to step it up, because all these security loopholes are ridiculous. But I guess Harry will be fine, as he was a real soldier who was previously deported to Afghanistan and all.

Enter 2015; today. Harry and Pippa are ready to commit. They’re seeing each other more often. They’re older, and they’re sick of playing games. They know they love each other, and they’re ready to go public. They’re official, then they show up on our Facebook Trending ticker.

And we declare them to be perfect.

 

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