Update: Of course it was Kim Kardashian-West
Update: Of course it was Kim Kardashian-West
While I was debating whether or not Ross is a dumbass, or if Emily is just annoying over Medha’s birthday dinner (yep, apparently Medha had a birthday), me and Medha’s friend, not knowing that he was about to drop a major bombshell into my mundane life, nonchalantly said, “I read this article that Monica and Chandler are dating in real life.”
To be honest, I actually felt the Earth, as I know it, shift under my very feet. Sure, I never really expected Courteney Cox (the actress who plays Monica, duh), who was married woman Courteney Cox-Arquette for most of the seasons when I was watching Friends on a regular basis, to be dating Matthew Perry (the actor who plays Chandler, duh), but isn’t that how the best kind of romances are? You don’t really expect it, but it feels absolutely right?
Of course, when I got home, I Googled the shit out of “courteney cox matthew perry dating,” and found out that they’ve always been in love, are currently in love, and are about to retrieve their love child from 1997–
Except NOPE. Courteney Cox is reportedly dating Will Arnett, formerly of Arrested Development and Amy Poehler’s husband. Cox and Arnett were apparently “all over each other” at what looked like a L.A. dinner date.
Except MAYBE NOT REALLY. Some sources say that Courteney Cox may have been all over Will Arnett for the sake of getting over her ex-fiance, Johnny McDaid of Snow Patrol (yes, that band who sang the song that played over the closing credits in Spider-Man 3). So it seems like Cox and Arnett were just having a nice, friendly dinner where they were all over each other, but they are definitely, supposedly not dating.
Back to what I was investigating in the first place: What’s going on with Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry? Rumors began when recent photos of Cox and Perry hanging out together surfaced, surely a more picturesque endeavor than being “all over each other” at some L.A. restaurant, though I wouldn’t object if they were the ones who were all over each other. However, our number one credible source (not), E! Online, reports that the relationship rumors are false.
So I must ask: Who is Courteney Cox dating? Do Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux know? Does David Arquette know? Does David and Courteney’s daughter, Coco, know? Does Courteney Cox even know?
But no matter what, we will always have Chandler and Monica. No one can ever take that away from us.
For a while now, the Internet sort of agrees on one thing: Leonardo DiCaprio really wants an Oscar.
But why? Leo is a wealthy bachelor who takes home 20 models at once, has been best friends with Tobey Maguire for over 25 years, and married off good friend Kate Winslet to her husband Ned Rocknroll. He seems to be doing pretty well without an Oscar!
Yet, the elusive Oscar trophy remains just slightly out of reach from him, and it’s fun for us regular folk to mock people who seem to have everything but the one thing they truly want. He can’t let go, he won’t let go. Like Hillary Clinton and the American presidency, Leo and his team are campaigning hard for his latest Oscar bait role, The Revenant, a prestige revenge western directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu, who won a Best Director Oscar for last year’s Best Picture winner, Birdman.
Early on, reports circulated that there is a scene where Leo gets raped by a bear, which has since been denied. However, in that same report, the writer notes that Leo also had to climb into a dead horse carcass, a claim that has been verified. Leo himself confirmed that he deliberately put himself into difficult situations for the sake of ART, like sleeping in animal carcasses:
“I can name 30 or 40 sequences that were some of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Whether it’s going in and out of frozen rivers, or sleeping in animal carcasses, or what I ate on set.”
The saga continues, with reports that international superstar Leonardo DiCaprio opted to eat raw bison liver, when he could have eaten fake bison liver, also for the sake of ART:
While speaking to Variety, DiCaprio admits that the prop department did indeed build a faux bison liver from jelly—certainly a more edible alternative to the authentic organ. But DiCaprio, concerned that the fake did not look genuine, volunteered to eat an actual bison liver. In addition to the challenge of finding a real bison liver, however, production had to get permission to feed one of Hollywood’s most valuable movie stars a raw, potentially diseased animal organ by getting clearance from both his team of lawyers and agents.
Leo even shared one of his near-death experiences (i.e., if you don’t give him an Oscar now, he might die):
“A great white jumped into my cage when I was diving in South Africa. Half its body was in the cage, and it was snapping at me.”
Will Leo win an Oscar this year? Only time will tell! He’s certainly doing a lot for the sake of art, something the Oscar loves and respects. Keep in mind, though, Leo has pretty much tried every Oscar bait move on his journey to Oscar gold, and we’re not sure what else Leo has left in his arsenal in the next few months leading to the 2016 Oscars.
For the time being, we’ll provide you a brief history of Leo’s Oscar bait experiences, under the cut.
Is DJ Khaled the modern day advice guru? Just when we thought we’d heard the last of DJ Khaled’s signature lyrics, “Anotha One” and “DJ KHALED!” the man himself emerged, dropping the motivational video of 201 5, or dare I say it, our lifetime?
Ok, probably not. But the rotund renaissance man who brought us such hits as “All I Do is Win” and “I’m on One” provides us with the motivation we need to get through whatever we’re dealing with. Hard work week? Khaled’s got you. Bad break up? Never fear, Khaled is here.
In the video entitled “Wise Words With DJ Khaled,” the founder of the We The Best Music Group spits the ego boost you need, retorting “You Smart. You Very Smart. You a Genius” He discusses hinges (???) and fuckboys and ends with the motivation you need to get through pushups (Or if you’re like me, the motivation you need to finish the box of cookies): his signature phrase “Anotha One.”
While DJ Khaled’s words may not seem to be as powerful as you’d think, I watched this video (along with Ludacris’ “Get Back” because that shit always gets me going) at least ten times before I took the LSAT and I felt pumped up. Now I’m not sure how I did on the actual test, but who cares? DJ Khaled thinks I’m smart. He thinks I’m very smart, actually. In fact, he thinks I’m a genius! So there, LSAC! (Sorry, I take it back. Please don’t let this affect my score)
Anyway, I was so inspired by DJ Khaled’s video that I decided to add the Palestinian prodigy on Snapchat. And may I just say, best Snapchat add ever? Let me tell you, folks. I’ve added Mo Speights on Snapchat and he is incomprehensible. I’ve added The Lonely Island and while they’re entertaining, they just draw shit on their faces. Anyway, they are no match for DJ Khaled.
DJ Khaled teaches you the key (emojis) to life. Whether it’s by watering the plants in his massive Miami backyard or rubbing cocoa butter all over his man boobs while he shakes the phone vigorously, the virtuoso who changed the game with “I’m So Hood” takes us on the adventure that is his life.
Referring to an elusive “they,” Khaled warns us about what “they” don’t want you to do. This warning has inspired its own website and has social media poppin’ with Khaled’s other catchphrases.
His story is filled with apple Ciroc trees, Diddy/Rozay cameos, elliptical workouts and even fan appearances. Everyday, we look forward to Chef Dee’s unenthusiastic listing of the meals she’s made for the artist. Never will we forget the terror we felt when Khaled got lost at sea on his jet ski while he tried to get back from Rick Ross’ home (wtf?!) at night.
From voraciously watering the leaves of his plants to zooming in and out on his lion statue while he yells “LYAAAAN,” DJ Khaled’s Snapchat story has quickly become the only one I follow (as ridiculous as following a Snapchat story sounds). I look forward to joining DJ Khaled on his 2016 antics, whatever those may be. Meanwhile, praise to the most high for the man himself: DJ KHALED.
According to various news sources, Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton are dating. The two really need no introduction: Harry is one of the Princes of Wales, the former black sheep party boy to his once golden boy of a brother, Prince William, and Pippa is the sister who dared to rock a white dress on her sister Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton’s wedding day. These two rebels of high society are reported to be couple of crazy kids in love, for the past few months, or even the past few years.
As if 2015 wasn’t already the worst year for relationships (RIP Bennifer 2.0, Jon & Jennifer, Avril & Chad LOL JK), two individuals who also split from their respective significant others have decided to heat things up.
Yes, we’re talking about Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. The Voice judges, after splitting from Miranda Lambert and Gavin Rossdale, respectively, have decided to take their professional relationship outside of work and have begun dating.
Well, Gwen and Blake have been getting it on in public and quite frankly, nobody was prepared for this. Ok, guys, this may be all fun and new and exciting but c’mon! Think of Miranda, for goodness’ sake! This poor woman is tearing up through her performances while you two get dressed up in whatever the fuck costumes these are.
And let’s not forget about how this relationship is affecting Zuma, Kingston, and Apollo (Those are Gwen’s children, not telescopes).
In any case, Gwen, we know it’s your life and we haven’t forgotten but Miranda and Gavin aren’t going to wake up any time soon thinking, “I know we’re cool.”
Rein it in with the PDA.
There’s a lot of hype and since we’re called Initial Hype, we thought we should mention it.
That is all.
The Grammys are the bishops of the Billboard gods, cementing the public’s oftentimes misguided pop music sensibilities into credible dogma. So that’s why it’s important that the 2016 Grammy nominations are out, as we shall discuss what’s orthodox, and what’s blasphemy.
Here is an awards body that awarded Artist of the Year to Maroon 5 (aka The Worst Band in the Universe) over Kanye West (aka Music Genius, obviously); considered “All About that Bass” and “Call Me Maybe” as not mere earworms, but some of the best songs of the year; and noted that a Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream album, which is basically an unapologetic ploy for radio airplay and money, contains some of the strongest compilations of songs from an artist (well, “artist”) that year.
After watching a terrible Sunday Night Football game, I logged into Facebook for what I expected to be leisurely browsing. Instead, I found this:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, THE BIEBS (21 year old child who belongs with Selena Gomez, if we’re being honest) is rumored to be dating the eldest Kardashian (Mother of Mason, Penelope, and Reign Disick, who pulled Mason out of her vag, in case you forgot). Continue reading →